Top Five Cigars Under $2 (AKA and we ain't talking about the price you get from auction)

Here's Metalbass Top Five Great Cigars Under $2
And in no set order, you have to try them all!

I really can't stand going to websites and see people talk about how good of a bargain a particular cigar is and then find out they got them off an auction website. The real price is still the retail price that the online dealer sets. To me, I don't always have time to hit the auctions, and though I have had good luck on them, I usually don't find what I want on them. My favorite is when people end up overpaying for a box of cigars,
that takes real skill. Ha ha!


1) JR Alternative Edicion Limitada
- Fellow cheapsters, rejoice at the fact that you can get these online at the never discounted price of $1.80 or less per cigar. The dark wrapper, full robust flavor, and awesome construction all make this a great bargain. My only complaint about JR Cigar is their crappy shipping charges. For every item that you buy, they tack on a bigger fee.

2) JM Dominican's - You can get these online for about $60 for a box of 50 robustos, natural or maduro. They are very well constructed, taste great (maduro is medium and sweet), and have a very bright band on them so you can't get lost at night.

3) Mr. B's Candela Toro - I like candela cigars. These are cheaper than most machine mades and way better. They have a mild yet tasty flavor. Construction is okay, but at 80 cents or less per stick, you cannot go wrong with these. Buy a bundle, smoke a few, and hand the rest out to your mooching good for nothing friends.

4) Tabamex Maduros- Of all the cheap Famous Smoke cigars I have tried, the best bargain to me are the Tabamex Presidente maduro cigars. $36.99 for a bundle of 25. You can find my comments about how good these cigars are on their website. Medium in character, smooth tobacco taste. They are not the most attractive cigars out there, but honestly, if you are worried about how a cigar looks, you must have an oral fetish.

5) La Vieja Habana Corojo Corona Chateau - Very consistent quality, under $2/stick online. Nicaraguan corojo wrapper on a sandwich blend. The aroma is sweet, the flavor is medium-full but very smooth. Cigar snobs don't like sandwich blends. I think cigar snobs only enjoy the sandwiches that their moms give them. Poor slobs will never move out of their mom's basement! Anyways, try these cigars out. They come in cheap cardboard boxes filled with loose tobacco leaves that smell like farm. Toss the box and scrap, put the cigars in your humidor, and enjoy them with moderation like all cigars should be enjoyed.

Updates! Expect reviews on Consuegra DR Corona, JR Alt. Edicion Limitada Hoyo Piramide, and some other cheap cigars!

Hi all!

Seeing how my fanbase is not going anywhere, I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to be posting a few updates on the website soon! Expect reviews on Consuegra DR Corona, JR Alt. Edicion Limitada Hoyo Piramide, and some other cheap cigars!

Famous Smoke's Cattivo Nero

This maduro cigar, one of the house brands marketed by Famous Smoke, was purchased in the Winter of 2005 (Jan.) and came with a huge shipment that has taken me 2+ years to go through. Most cigar smokers run through an entire box without blinking an eye, but I like to do things the Cheap Cigar way, and that is savor each and every cheap cigar (and the occasional premium cigar) in my humidor. Unfortunately, I was unable to enjoy this maduro-wrapped corona cigar. The first couple cigars I pulled out of the box (28 to a box, slide top, retails at Famous Smoke for $29.95) were harsh and bitter, nothing like their wonderful natural wrapper cousins, the Cattivo Biondo. The Cattivo Biondo was one of the most mild yet flavorful cigars that I have enjoyed. I honestly think of it as the Poor Man's Macanudo, but for about 1/3 the price and 4/3 the consistency. But back to the Cattivo Nero. What flavors came out of this cigar? Straw, no maduro sweetness, just bitterness. I could have revived a roomful of fainted people with this cigar's flavor. "To the humidor!" I thought, and so it went.

After a few months of aging, I lit one up, and again, harsh and bitter. Hmmm, looks like my cheapness is getting the best of me. This isn't even a good yard gar. "To the humidor!" And so it went.

Okay, it's 2007, more than 2 years since I last smoked this cigar. I gave away a few to people who were sponging cigars off of me, and a few more went to people I knew that had no idea what cigars meant. Wow, as a Christian, I'm not being very nice. Mu ha ha! Actually I was just giving them away to whoever wanted them. Still had a couple left in the old 100-count humidor. Lit one up, and you know, I should have expected it. Blecch!

This one is a loser from Famous Smoke.

JR Alt. to the Romeo and Julieta Bully

So does this guy do nothing but review cheap cigars and give them good ratings? Read on brother, read on.

JR Alternative to the Romeo and Julieta Bully
Size: Rothschild
Wrapper: Natural
Origin: Pepper Mill, Sanitary Station

Two word review: Yuck Yuck.

Why: Smoked one the usual way, right out of the bundle and fresh from the store.
My stomach hurts. I like a good strong, full-bodied cigar. Just not this one. It's ulcer- inducing. My tongue is numb. I pass out. Ten hours later, I wake up! Where am I? Why is my stomach inside out? Must put bundle in humidor to age for infinity.


Few months later: Took one out of the lower depths of my Made In China humidor. Why are so many things made in China? I'm Taiwanese in heritage, but I was even made in the USA. To all of corporate America, quit selling my country short and sending work to China. They're evil communists who care nothing about what they make. Garbage in, garbage out.

Political rant over. Back to cigar!

Okay, after a few months, cigars tend to mellow out a bit and the taste should improve. Not this cigar. My stomach still hurts after smoking this cigar. The taste was way too peppery, like eating Habanero peppers. No flavor, just full on spice. This sure is lousy. I ended up giving the bundle away. Probably should have thrown them out. JR Cigars, I want my refund!

Cheap Wine from Trader Joe's - Is Charles Shaw a true bargain?

Been purchasing a few bottles of wine here and there. I've found that I like a nice dry red wine. Chiantis are a bit light, but good with pasta (hmmm, coincidence? I think not!). Merlots are my favorite. I typically drink one 750 ml bottle in about two days. Being the connoisseur of cheapness, I decided to try the Trader Joe's $2.99 special, Charles Shaw Merlot.

Here's what I have found:

Aroma: Typical red wine, slight floral and pepper smells emanate from the glass after being poured.

Taste: Dry, more tannins. Hmmmm, not bad!

Aftertaste: Not much, doesn't linger.

Paired with Spicy Chinese food: Doesn't kill the flavour of the food, and doesn't lose any either.
Paired with Pasta: Enhances tomato sauce from jar.

Party Drink Power (PDP): Guests of mine usually have no clue of their wine, so this was more than adequate in getting them inebriated. Cheap and effective. Yahoo! PDP of 90. (Don't you love it when people give you a number rating that is meaningless?)


Overall analysis: Good for the amateurs like me who only know cigars, whiskey, and beer. Perfect for the average Metalhead. Not for the woman who only drinks white zinfandel. I say it's a bargain!

Cheap Cigar Calls for a Cheap Drink!

First ever drink review by the Metalbass!

Jim Beam Rye, the rotgut with the yellow label. Totally different than Jim Beam Bourbon, the vile concoction in the white label.

This rye whiskey is $9.99 just across the border from where I live, and it's hard to find for some reason. It's got a sweet aroma and a caramel-like, mild flavor. Nothing to wreak havoc on your esophagus. My buddy and I drank half the bottle in four days. Compliments my collection of cheap and fine cigars by accenting the tobacco flavours. There is not much smokiness in this liquor. Overall, I highly recommend this rye because it's flavourful, easy on the palette and the wallet, and perfectly compliments a yummy cigar! Score is 90!

JR Alternatives

I have in my humidor a few cigars of JR's fantastic Edicion Limitada JR alt. cigars. The Montecristo C and Edmundo are both medium-full bodied cigars and the bottom line is: they're cheap and tasty! That is what this blog is all about. Order them now, before the marketing geniuses at JR realize that they can double the price on these cigars. These are better than their Ultimates!

Review of La Vieja Habana Chateau Corona, Corojo wrapper

The LVH CCC cigar is a good example of how a low-priced cigar can have plenty of flavor and great construction. There is a slight spice, medium flavor, and smooth draw and a good yet only slight aftertaste. The corojo wrapper really has a nice aroma (word of caution - when I first got my box and brought it home, it smelled like farm because it reminded of cow and earth. Luckily the aroma disappeared when I removed the cigars from the box and tossed box and the bed of tobacco leaves out).

Mixed filler cigars have really come a long way, and this is one of the best. I enjoyed a few LVH cigars in the past, when the box prices were about $10-$15 less, but even with the price increase, these cigars are still a fantastic bargain in my opinion. Drew Estate has done a good job and I highly recommend these cigars.

Famous Dominican 1000 Torpedo

The quick review: Got it for $16/bundle. Normally somewhere in the $30 range for 20 cigars. I got 4 off of www.cigarauctioneer.com . Sold one bundle, gave one away, and kept two bundles. Normally it's a good idea to let the cigars sit in your humidor for a few weeks before trying the first one. But the metalbass way is to smoke one immediately, then determine how you want to proceed based on the initial taste. One bundle had bands (Famous Smoke Dominican 1000) and the other bundle had no bands. I smoked one from each and I must say, these are very good cigars. Mild to medium in flavor, slight spiciness, plenty of smoke, good draw. Almost leathery. I am not an expert at describing a cigar's taste other than tobacco, peppery, spicy, coffee-like, and leathery. Anybody that describes a cigar as having hints of nutmeg, durian, or whatever is full of it. Anyways, these cigars are good. I've already smoked about four of them, and I'm going to have to let them age so that I don't smoke everday.

Chairman's Choice President Cigar

Wow, I must say I like Famous Smoke alot. They have good deals, and their cigars tend to be just right on the humidification side. I have very rarely gotten lousy cigars from them. Today's review is on Chairman's Choice President cigars. Got two boxes of 25 for $19.95 each off of FSS's auction site. Using the tried and true metalbass cigar/drink sampling method, I opened the boxes, put them in my humidor, and smoked one cigar. Lit it, sat outside, nice and sunny, drink in hand was a bottle of Foster's lager. I like a good drink with a cigar. Beer can be light or dark, preferably dark when I have a cigar, but sometimes a lighter beer helps cleanse the palate rather than enhance the flavor of the cigar. In this case, what little flavor I got from the CCP cigar was washed out by the beer. Hmmm, me thinks that this cigar is a bit too mild. No hints of spice, panties, nothing. A few days later I smoked another CCP, this time accompanied by a martini in Ann Arbor. Two of my friends also partook in one of these cigars. This time, still mild, but a bit more flavorul, enough to hold it's own with the martini. Came back home and a few days later, tried one more while working. No drink on hand this time. Flavor was stronger yet still mild, slight spice, draw was a bit loose but on a summer day, sometimes you just don't want to think about what you're smoking and just enjoy the weather. Don't pay full price for this closeout from the makers of Troya cigars. Instead, buy it at the rock bottom auction price that FSS puts these out at every now and then. I'm sure they still make like $10 off of a box. I still think that this cigar may get better with age, and it's definitely better than any machine made junk out there that I see the old guys smoke. Really, don't smoke everday. If you do, stick to cigarettes.